


To The Stars

by TheLexorcist



Category: Star Wars, The Last Jedi, the Force awakes
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Old Friends, Reunion Fluff, but also commander poe, litetally shes a gray jedi, my original character is named Astrid, past relationship, she also says fuck the Jedi code, shes a badass assassin, shes so gray, teenage angst via flashbacks, teenage poe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-28 23:11:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13914165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLexorcist/pseuds/TheLexorcist
Summary: Astrid is an assassin disassociated from the Jedi religion. For years, she roamed through the galaxy, killing First Order sympathizers to end the suffering of families everywhere. Then she gets a blast from the past when she’s reunited with her childhood friend, Poe Dameron. When she goes with the Resistance to help them in their war, her love for the commander reignites and she knows she’s in for a wild, probably violent, ride.





	1. A Day in the Life of a Murderer... I Mean Savior

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man I love me so Poe Dameron. Whata dad am I right? Any way, this story will be told from Astrid and Poe’s POVs!

**Astrid**

I opened my eyes and scanned my surroundings. The room I was in was small and fairly basic, only with a bed, dresser, and nightstand. Someone like myself didn't need much more than that, seeing that I hardly stay in one place for more than two days.

Half the time was spent running from bounty hunters, the rest was occupied by research, keeping tabs, carrying out the killings, and staying true to my mother's teachings. Every morning and every night I sat on whatever bed I could find or afford and meditated, connecting myself to The Force for balance- or maybe it was the small sliver of desperation to summon the ghosts of my long deceased parents.

It never worked. That was far out of my ability, not that I minded too much, when the time was right, they would come to me. For now, I disregarded the fleeting thought and finished my morning ritual of tapping into The Force.

Most mornings began the same. Wake up, meditate, eat whatever I recently stole, then get to work. I set the towel on the nightstand, crumbles from the bread I had eaten spilling onto its surface. An internal groan rang out in my brain as I began to slip into my rather complicated ensemble.

I pulled the tight trousers over my legs and went to the mirror in order to wrap my breasts up in the chest wraps to cover myself for both protection and modesty. The beige shirt was tucked into the waistband of the trousers and a utility belt occupied my waist. It held a small array of blades, a blaster, and- of course- my lightsaber. I pulled on the knee high boots and zipped them up, following up with the long jacket, a red one with rolled up sleeves, then the cloth I used to mask my identity and instill mystery and fear- just for some fun.

I returned to the mirror and stared at my face. "Such a disaster." I muttered, noticing the dead stare, baggy eyes, scars, everything. I missed Yavin, I missed my life there, I missed my friends and my family, but most of all, I wanted to be able to go back and silence the screams of my parents as they died at the hands of the First Order. My head shook and I sighed, putting half my hair up and braiding it loosely before pulling the cloth over my nose, only leaving me to stare at my eyes. No other features. I finally pulled the fingerless gloves on and restuffed my bag, abandoning the room and intergrading myself into the busy streets.

At this point in my life, I've lost track of the names of planets I've been on, considering I sometimes make repeat visits or I have to go to a brand new area of the galaxy or I have to hide on one for a few days, sometimes weeks. There's too many to even care.

I was looking for someone named Saros. A mother with two sons sought me out when I came here, begging me to help her escape him. I eventually agreed, seeing as I had a soft spot for the struggling population who were constantly walked all over by the stronger, more established ones.

_"Who am I looking for?" I asked._

_The woman fiddled with her hands. "His name is Saros. He is going to sell my sons and I into slavery."_

_"Where's your husband?"_

_"He was killed in a war with the First Order." I sighed and scratched my head. "I'll pay you, name your price. Please..."_

_I shook my head and rested a hand on her bony shoulder. I scanned her arms and legs, noting the lack of body fat and the whipping scars that littered her skin. "Don't worry about the money. I can do it for free."_

I remembered the shock that occupied her face as she thanked me profusely, crying out her thanks and rushing away from the alley way we had met in. She fled home after I told her to remain in their home. Saros would be there by mid morning, and I planned to make this as... clean as possible.

He was easy to spot within the Force. He was one of those obnoxious screams in the Force Track- at least, that's how I describe it. I began moving through the crowd, eyes set on the path I could sense, which weakened when someone bumped my shoulder or I became distracted by more suspicious looking people. The closer I got, the more I sensed the fear of the three family members.

The mother was clutching her boys to her body as a tall, very muscular man towered over them, a whip in hand. The rush of fury came to me as I sped up, shoving past the crowds, ignoring the insults thrown at me before I broke into a sprint towards the impoverished homes that were separated from the high end city. It was as if they were some sort of disease. A plague to the twisted, beautiful facade the rich had created.

I halted in front of a closed door and listened in for a moment. Just out of sheer curiosity.

"Have you been conspiring against the First Order again, Maria?" A deep voice growled.

"N-no master... I would never!" It was the woman I spoke to in the alley way. The cries of her sons could also be heard, but they were muffled by what was probably them burying their faces in her clothes.

"I don't believe you. A few lashings should take care of this." I growled and pulled my blaster out of my holster and shooting the lock and handle before kicking the door open.

"I think maybe you shouldn't do that." I snapped, pointing the blaster at Saros. He spun around and cackled.

"Oh... you called an assassin. The best one, apparently." Saros laughed. "Maria, how did you manage to pay for this one?"

"Unlike you I don't force people into doing things that they either cannot do or do not want to do." I growled. "I don't use my power to manipulate the weaker, less defensive population. I use it to help them."

"This is a First Order occupied planet, you fool! You kill me and you have a target on your back!" I laughed humorlessly and shook my head.

"Here's a secret, Saros." I sheathed the blaster and pulled out the lightsaber and ignited it, watching the man cower back at the sight of the blue energy that extended from the silver. "The First Order is already hunting me down. You're death would be another number for them."

"Jedi scum." he muttered.

"I'd look away if I were you." I said to Maria and her sons before swinging the lightsaber up and slashing Saros' chest before plowing it into his stomach and yanking it back out.

Saros gasped for air and looked up from his knees, fear flashing in his eyes. "You won't win."

I shrugged and looked at the small family. "Maybe. But at least they're free."

Without a last word, I turned on my heels and left the house, Maria running after me with her children in tow.

"Wait! Wait!" I turned at her voice and allowed her to close the distance between us. "Thank you... I cannot express my gratitude and debt to you."

"Get away from this planet." I instructed her gently. "Find a safe place, make a grand life for you and your children." The boys stared up in me in wonder, drawing an unseen smile from me. I hoped my eyes gave it away as I knelt in front of them. "May the Force be with you."

The children's faces lit up at the words as I returned to my feet and nodded to the now free woman. Maria smiled and waved as I turned and walked back to the city, knowing my time was running out to escape the forces of the First Order. I prayed to the Maker that the family would get off this rock alive and find a better life.

People like them are why I did terrible things like this. It's because no one was there to save my family, no one stood beside us. Instead, the village that swore to hide them had betrayed them. But those traitors all burned with my past. It made me force the repression of a smirk at the thought of those traitors going up in flames, but it fled as the idea of my parents dying at the hands of the First Order.

Of course I wouldn't wish ill-will on most people, and when those thoughts came to me, it reminded me that I still haven't have control of my emotions. At least part of me still felt an emotion.

I scanned my (forged) documents at the entrance to the hanger where my fighter was being held. The attendant glared at me suspiciously and bared his sharp, crooked teeth. Maker knows what species he was, I just didn't care enough to figure it out.

"Where you off to, _Genoa Naught_?" The name dripped out of his mouth with a sneer. "You haven't stayed more than two nights. In a big hurry?"

"I prefer to be... less crowded by others." I responded calmly. "I tend to be claustrophobic."

"You pilot that fighter? We don't see many of those land in here. Especially ones with pilots who can barely land it in the first place." I cringed internally at the memory of how I 'landed' the fighter. I nearly killed three people with my lack of control. "Do you work with the Republic?"

"The Republic is no more. The First Order destroyed the planet with their weapon, which is also no more." I replied nonchalantly. "I don't have an opinion, if that's what you're wondering. They've all done awful things in this war."

The attendant grunted in reluctant agreement before passing my documents back to me. "Safe travels."

I took them with a nod and continued my walk to the bay harboring my ride off this superficial rock. My fighter was a stolen X-Wing from a Republic war zone. It had been busted and smoking when my father crashed it onto our planet, he called it his 'long term project'. For four years, he hid the fighter in the woods, working on it day in and day out to repair the body, restore the controls, and replace the inner workings. All he had missed was a droid.

The two of us would fly it around the planet, although I was no pilot by any means. But my father, he knew how to fly.

"It was my looks that caught your mother's eye." he would tell me with a cheeky grin.

"It was those ace pilot skills, looks came second." my mother would protest.

A smile rugged at my lips as I stepped up the ladder and thanked the people who fueled up and took care of it before I shut the canopy. The bay attendants scattered as I went through the same ugly flight routine. I grunted as the fighter lurched forward too quickly and jerked me back against the leather of the seat and nearly whacked an employee in the head. The steeled doors of the hanger opened as I steadied myself and blasted out of the bay and into the sky.

Once more, I found myself wondering what the fate of Maria and her sons would be. But more importantly, what mine would be.

Saros' words stuck in my brain. _"You kill me and you have a target on your back!"_ My response was true, in part at least. The First Order was hunting me down, but they didn't know who I was or what I looked like, seeing as they always arrived at the planet too late, the only trace of my presence being the carnage I tended to leave behind.

It thrilled me to be chased. I wanted them to see the murders I committed, to remind them that I can whittle their allies down one by one. However, I couldn't help but wonder how important Saros actually was. Then my mind was plagued with the dreaded thought of Maria being captured and giving me away.

I shivered at those ideas and forced them out of my head. "Trust the Force, Astrid." I murmured to myself as I fixed my gaze on the sky. "Trust the Force."


	2. Assassin, Meet Rebels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter with some Poe! Which is great! Because it’s Poe! I’m bad at chapter notes, so just enjoy!

**Poe**

It's been a few weeks since the First Order's attack on Crait. The Resistance... or what's left of it... could fit on the Millennium Falcon. It was one of the most devastating things I've ever seen.

Rey and Chewie were piloting us as far away from the carnage we left behind. Leia seemed troubled, deep in thought about who knows what. Finn was anxiously watching over Rose. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out what the next move was going to be. It never left my mind how my Dreadnaught stunt pretty much left us for dead.

"Poe." I turned my head and looked up at Finn.

"Hey. How's Rose doing?" I asked, moving over to let the defected trooper sit beside me.

Finn sighed and looked at her from across the room. She was pretty beat up, a little worse than the majority of us, but she was one of the few that made it out alive. "I... honestly? I'm no medical personnel. I can't tell if she's doing better or worse."

"She'll pull through, Finn." I reassured him, hand on his shoulder with a half smile. It was all I could muster at this point.

"I just can't believe she did that! I had it, Poe!"

I sighed and shook my head. "Finn, we need you."

"We could've taken out-"

"No, Finn." I interrupted, holding my hand up to stop him. "We've lost too many people. And I've lost a lot of friends, I couldn't lose you too."

Finn sighed and nodded slowly, his gaze falling back on Rose. A few minutes passed before the Falcon shook as it exited light speed, landing us in a new system- hopefully- far from the First Order. Curiosity got to me and I motioned for Finn to follow me.

"C'mon, take your mind off all this. Rose is in good hands."

Together, we made our way to the cockpit to see our surroundings. I stopped behind Rey's seat while Finn hovered behind Chewie's.

"Hello boys." Rey chimed, pressing buttons, seemingly random ones (although I knew they had meaning).

"Where are we?" Finn questioned. "I don't recognize this system."

Chewie roared in response and we looked to Rey for a translation.

"He says we're in the core system. The planets here are the richest and most densely packed in-" Rey stopped in the middle of her sentence and narrowed her eyes. Her laser focus made the rest of us squint in the same direction as her just as her eyes widened. "Is that an X-wing!?"

Impossible. All the X-wings were destroyed. I watched my fleet and fellow leaders kriffing blow up. "That's not one of us." I growled, gripping the head of the seat in annoyance. It was almost insulting how terrible the pilot was flying. "We've got to catch them."

Chewie nodded in agreement and engaged the Falcon's thrusters to follow the fighter. We chased the pilot at a safe distance, careful to stay out of his sights. There where a couple of things out of place. One: the paint was chipped and cracking, even flying off into space as he flew. Two: there was no droid. No extra eyes, which was especially odd. Three: the skills. In short, there were none.

The fighter suddenly pulled up and raced away from us. "He knows he's being chased." Finn stated.

"Then we'll chase him." Rey replied, pulling up and rocketing after. Even with the poor skills, the pilot managed to get behind us and start shooting. "Dammit! Poe, I need you to co-pilot. Finn, let's get to the guns and ground this guy." Rey and I switched. She yelled to the rest of the passengers to hold on.

The X-wing began to engage in a dogfight with us as I flipped some switches and yelled out a curse or two. "Who the hell is this guy!?" I growled.

Chewie roared in annoyance as the fighter messily circled the Falcon, shooting (and missing). "Hey are you two going to start shooti-"

I was cut off when a single blast hit the X-wings, engine and it began plummeting down to whatever moon we were near. Rey came back to the cockpit and watched the fighter spin out of control.

"Should we follow it?" she questioned.

"We need to know where he found that fighter and who he is. He's clearly not a pilot, but it's someone." I replied.

"Well... then what are we waiting for?" Rey said, earning an enthusiastic roar from Chewie as he aimed the ship towards the surface.

•••

We landed the Falcon a few feet from the now damaged X-wing. I followed Rey out of the ship and watched the pilot stand up shakily. Turns out he was a she. Her gloves hand braces herself on the tree she crashed into as blood flowed from a deep cut on her forehead. Her hair blew to the side in the wind and a cloth was pulled up on her face, shielding everything from her nose down from our view.

Her eyes reminded me of Corellian Whiskey. That warm, brown smoothness. They were intense, like she was trying to kill Rey and me just by glaring at us.

"Who are you?" Rey inquired, her voice challenging but curious.

"What's it matter?" The stranger replied.

"You're piloting a stolen Resistance fighter. We're obviously concerned with who you are." I answered, more harshly than Rey did.

I noticed her hand lingering at the side of her hip, eyes trained on us, a cold stare tearing into our souls. Rey backed up, eyes going slightly wide.

"The assassin..." she muttered.

"The _what_!" I said, putting my hands up and going rigid.

"Ben was after her. You're the one picking off the First Order." The stranger cocked an eyebrow in slight confusion. "We're... we're what's left of the Resistance."

"Why should I trust you two?" she sneered. Rey scoffed and I glared at her. Her eyes relocked on me, burning into my own. In all honestly, they were quite captivating and entrancing.  We'd accumulated a sort of an audience as the sound of an igniting lightsaber, drawing my eyes to the weapon in her hand.

"Okay whoa, easy!" I said, pulling Rey backwards with me. "Listen. We're not after you, okay. We're trying to get away from the First Order, just like you! Okay? My name's Poe Dameron."

The girl's eyes widened and she straightened up from her aggressive stance. She extinguished her lightsaber and took a few steps forward, scanning me up and down, as if Rey wasn't even there. "Poe... Dameron?" The assassin tilted her head as she looked closely at my face.

I cocked an eyebrow in confusion as she pulled the cloth from her own face. She looked vaguely familiar, like I'd seen her facial structure for years, but at the same time, she was a stranger. A former pilot? No. She wouldn't be wielding a lightsaber like that...

"Poe, it's me." she said, a smile tugging up at her lips. "Astrid..."

"Greckol? Holy Maker, no wonder you crashed!" I ran up and trapped her torso in a tight hug as her arms went around my neck. "You've always been a horrid pilot."

She laughed and pulled back to scan my face with a smile as her hands rested on my cheeks. I was so happy to see her that, had I not known better, I would've kissed her. If we were still eighteen, I wouldn't think twice about it.

"Um hi, we're still here." I pulled my gaze away from the girl towards Finn's voice. Astrid and I broke our hug and laughed awkwardly. "You know this girl!?"

"It's a long story. She can help us." I stressed, arm around her shoulders. She looked over at me, her eyes filled with a sort of plea to not place her in that position. "You can!"

"Poe." I muttered.

"She's brilliant with a lightsaber!" She elbowed me. "What?"

"You know better!" She turned to Rey. "Look, I'd love to. But I'm on the run and I have a target on my back."

"A target?" Finn asked.

"Look, we don't have time for stories. Astrid, we could really use someone like you." Rey stressed. "Isn't there somewhere you can take us that will keep us hidden?"

Astrid bit her bottom lip, finally sighing and glaring at me. "Fine. I'll go with you and get you to a planet on the outer rim. They don't speak basic, but I've learned the language so I'll be able to make sure they don't slaughter all of you."

•••

We settled on the idea of Astrid and I sharing the cramped quarters I had. Leia said it'd be good for us to catch up, neither one of us protested in the slightest. Astrid keyed in the coordinates to a moon tucked away on the outer rim of the galaxy.

"Assassin, huh?"

She laughed as she let her hair fall freely from the braid. "The Jedi thing didn't exactly work out."

"Last I recall, you handled a saber better than any other padawan there."

"Is that what they were saying?"

"A few rumors at the flight academy." I replied.

Astrid looked me up and down and shrugged, her eyes holding a sense of sadness or something more depressing than that. I couldn't tell. She was as mysterious as I remembered. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"I was there. When Ben Solo slaughtered all Master Skywalker's students and took a few." She sat next to me and leaned forward, elbows resting on her knees. "He thought he had killed me, sliced me from my hip to my shoulder." She traced a line up across her entire torso. "I managed to get to a ship and get out of there before he came back to finish me off. After that, I disassociated from the Jedi religion."

I looked at her in confusion. "But... your parents-"

"Didn't want me to go. At least my mother didn't. Jedi don't keep peace. They create chaos and allow darkness to rise. Darkness like the Empire, Sith Lords, Supreme Leaders. The First Order. They've never sought out a balance. The path of the Gray Code suits me more."

"Yeah. You've always been your own little moon." I said. She smiled.

"A dark side and a light." Astrid said with a smile.

"So, where are you sending us?" I switched the subject, deciding not to push her to tell me the exact details of the horrors she saw.

"A planet in the outer rim. I go there when I need to hide out." she explained, crossing her arms. "The people there aren’t on anyone’s side, but they'd do anything to burn those First Order beasts to the ground. It's where I take the X-wing when I mess it up bad."

I perked up at that sentence. "Did you say you take the X-wing there to get it repaired?"

"Yeah. They go out and get parts from wrecks. Or steal them from dealers, fix them up and use them for defense." Astrid informed me, watching me grow with excitement.

"That's the best news I've ever heard!" She cocked an eyebrow. "That means fighters! Which means pilots! And that planet means more members! This could rebuild the Resistance."

"Slow down there, flyboy." she said, sitting next to me. "I told you, these guys will want to see all of you dead. As far as they're concerned, both the Republic and the First Order destroyed the galaxy. You're lucky I can speak their language."

"Over achiever." I teased.

Astrid shook her head and nudged me with her shoulder before wrapping her arms around me again. I returned the hug, squeezing her tight against me. "I missed you, Poe. I didn't want to lead the First Order to you..."

"Too late for that one." I laughed. "But, I missed you a lot too, sabergirl."


End file.
